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The Abused and the Abuser. Beware of the Illusion Created by the Abuser

Something I have become quite curious about is why people are often so quick to choose a side.

Have we considered that we might end up laying judgement upon the one who has been abused? Perhaps partially because it is easier; and perhaps because the one who is the abuser has learned to become a skilled wordsmith in order to survive.

Some people learn to bend a situation to their benefit. Some see it as their right to do so; and think that anyone who pushes against their will has some nerve and is a terrible person. They live by the motto that their way is the only way, and gossip and triangulate to get others on side. They search for flying monkeys to support their cause. They live through this self-created prophecy that everybody else must follow like sheep. And so, they create conditions around their relationships.

They think it’s their right to serve justice upon the other. Truth be told, they have no right to serve such justice. The problem then becomes when an illusion is created, packaged, and sold to those who surround both parties.

Power, control, manipulation, influence, gossip and an over-inflated are dressed up to look good and the person who has the pure heart ends up being made to feel especially crazy, as it is destined to be if those who surround them stand by the abuser.

Be mindful of wrongfully labelling the abused as crazy, negative, wrong, a drama queen, or perhaps even as the abuser.

Sometimes when the abuser is seen to be a ‘somebody’ both them and others made the abused feel like a nobody. So now they’re not only rejected by the toxic person, but also by others who haven’t made an effort to consider that there might be more than meets the eye.

I wonder what would happen if this role was reversed and that person living way too much in their ego became a nobody. How would they cope? Why is it that we unconsciously create this kind of imbalance in our relationships?

This illusion is created that a person is somehow more important and better than the other person.

The abuser has learned this skill that allows them to talk their way out of a corner and talk the other person into a corner.

So how do we know? By being consciously aware and observant. By listening to our intuition. By perhaps seeing how one reacts when they are questioned. By seeing if the story changes or remains the same. By seeing how they react when somebody says no to them.

The truth is they live through ego.

When we become more observant of both ours and other people’s intentions, we see things with much more clarity. My thought is that we all have a responsibility. Consider the fact that enabling and “going with the flow” is an agreement to the terms of a contract, whether or not we verbalise our agreement.

As a follower in any form, we have this unspoken responsibility to either agree or disagree to a contract. We either choose to conform, or we choose not to conform. Some sit somewhere in the middle; and have put one foot in and one foot out. As a collective we are the creators of the world that we live in wouldn’t you agree?

So, the question becomes, what are we creating?

Are we creating this world where toxicity is honoured; and manipulation and control is blessed? Or do we honour purity of heart, body, mind, and soul?

It’s very important that gain perspective in this area. What are we agreeing to? Where will this take us in 5, 10, 15, 20 years? Where will we be in a century from now? What sort of world are we currently creating for our children? What sort of world are we creating for our children’s children?

When authoritarianism is accepted, to the point it starts to take over, where does that lead? And how do we go back from that? It becomes extremely important that we live authentically, and we live consciously and act in a way that is for the highest good of all.

Could it be that living in our unfiltered truth might be necessary at times; with a view to bring us back to balance, stability, and equality. It is important that both leaders and followers use discernment when it comes to both words and actions.

We are always creating and so it becomes important that we are careful of what we speak into existence.

Be mindful of who is taking accountability and who is not. Be mindful of being pulled into the illusion that is created through gossip, control, and influence. Be mindful of those who point fingers. Be mindful of what is pure and what is not. Be mindful of enmeshment. Be mindful of co-dependency and of taking one side over another. Be mindful of toxic relationships. Be mindful that you are not living too much through ego. Be mindful of people pleasing and enabling. Be mindful that you don’t become a flying monkey.

Let’s co-create a more balanced world together. Let’s live with conscious awareness. Let’s live authentically and in our truth. Let’s focus on building balanced and healthy relationships. Let’s really truly listen to those around us. Let’s create healthy boundaries and not settle for less than we deserve, because it is never our job to fix or awaken another – but lets still be kind and understanding and open to growth within a relationship.

Let’s create reciprocity within our relationships. Let’s create peace, love, and harmony. Together we can make a true difference in this world.

Always be authentic and true to yourself no matter what. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are blessed. You are worthy. You are enough. Remind yourself of that every single day.

This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.


This video and article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.

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