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Learn to Dance To Your Own Mixtape

28 Days of Gratitude – Day 17

I spent years dancing to the mixtapes that were put together by those around me. I played a supporting role in the lives of others and in doing so I snuffed out parts of my own inner flame. I buried my fire deep within. In my eyes my mission was to keep the other comfortable. Honestly, it almost destroyed me.

The winding roads that were travelled have led me to where I am today. It may have been a painful and sometimes very lonely road, but it has guided me to my authenticity within this very moment. I am exactly where I need to be on this day.

Today I am grateful that I have stumbled on a path that requires for me to learn to dance to my own mixtape. It did not happen in just one day – and I most definitely have not walked a comfortable road. BUT at some point, I found peace within the pain.

I love that I have so much passion and desire. The fire that I hold within is true beauty. Can I tame it? Should I even try to tame it?

My choice has become to learn to utilise my fire for the positive. To guide it into achieving my mission and purpose here on Earth.

I choose to use my fire to expand beyond my own limiting beliefs. I use it as fuel to make things happen. To do. To be. If I choose to hide this fire deep within, might it grow bigger and bigger; and one day morph into a huge ugly monster (AKA anger and aggression) that can no longer be tamed.

I am not afraid to look at my own stuff. Are you?

I no longer fear this thought that the other could metaphorically pull the ribbon from my cassette tape at some point. A person might seek to take from my essence, but these days I clearly see it for what it is – and choose to draw my essence back to self once again. I am not here to become what you personally want me to be. If I was to choose that path, I might as well be a fearful hermit crab hiding away in their little home… too afraid to upgrade their shell.

My thought is that I was personally put on this earth with the vision to find wholeness within myself.

To learn to love and accept myself unconditionally.

For some this thought might perhaps sound selfish. If you think it does, then consider sitting with your thoughts for just a while. Is that your perspective? Or perhaps you think it should be mine?

I dance with the duality of selfless and selfish. I only recently learned that people pleasing is a form of control. I used to people please, because I feared rejection and abandonment. But it quite honestly enables the others bad behaviour; and can create a never-ending cycle of toxicity.

I never actually understood how to love without conditions until such point as I learned self-love and self-acceptance. The love for another becomes so much deeper, at the point that we no longer need for them to fill our cup. The other might be envious of us. They might even hate on us. No matter where they are personally at on their journey; we can embody love, truth, peace and unity. This is a choice that we make. This is where we can personally make a difference within the world.

With a view that I could embody self-love and self-acceptance, I had to first stop abandoning and rejecting myself. I no longer feel any desire to constantly adjust to another with a view to keep them comfortable.

Self-love sometimes requires for us to call people out on their own bs. It can also require for us to call ourselves out on our own bs.

My goal has become to show up in a way that is as raw and real as I am currently able. Hopefully the other person can meet me in that place. BUT if they're not able at the moment - then I choose to offer them blessings... and walk away till another day... as they are quite simply not ready.

We can insist another must change all we want. What I have found is that they will only change at the point that they are personally ready.

To not be afraid to implement healthy boundaries is a beautiful thing. If you’re not sure where to start… then the best place you can start is right where you stand. I have spent a good many months tweaking my boundaries just a little at a time… until such time as I have found confidence within my boundaries.

Before healthy boundaries, I was manipulated over and over again by a number of different people.

The only way I knew how to handle this was to gift people an unlimited amount of chances to 'get it right'. I didn't know what else to do, so I fell into patterns of people pleasing and enabling. Nowadays I choose to put my own needs and wants front and centre. I don’t try to tear another down. But I don’t try to mollycoddle the other either.

Instead, I mollycoddle myself perhaps. I think I have earned the right to this. I will no longer deprive my inner child of the right to be nurtured. It’s not actually from a place of ego that I do this, but from a place of necessity. If I wish to show up correct for another, it is first necessary for me to show up correct for myself.

I have always felt drawn to unlock my true fiery nature. I felt caged.

Although I have feared my own personal power, I have always been able to walk comfortably right through the centre of the flames. In a way, the heat doesn't bother me. BUT I'm quite honestly done with it - I desire change.

Don’t fear your power. Choose not to be caged. Shine bright like the diamond you are. And choose to dance to your own mixtape.

Might I empower you? That all depends. Are you ready to be empowered? Like truly ready?

If you are, then empowerment can be yours. But you must first choose to feel it deep at your very core. I can only place fuel on your fire IF you are ready and willing to make the necessary shifts and changes within yourself.

What do you focus on? That is what you will likely manifest more of. Sit with the question for just a moment, “Does what you focus on align with your goals?”

If not, why not? What is your excuse? What is your excuse for your excuse? We can all be full of excuses… we can all choose to hold ourselves back. There might be good reason, but is it true that we still made that choice.

Consider sharing at least one thing per day for the next 28 days that you are truly grateful for If you would rather not share with friends, then feel free to join Embracing Our Inner Unicorn, where you can share with people on a similar journey to yourself:

Thank you for reading. Wishing you so many blessings today and always.

This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.


This video and article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.

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