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Embracing My Awkwardness

Whilst we were on holidays we went snorkelling on Green Island.

For anyone who knows me well enough, they know that I have an awkwardness about me at times; especially when it comes to trying new things.

I was joking around whilst I was there. I was suggesting that I am awkward on purpose.

The truth is, I am quite simply awkward at times. I have no control over it whatsoever haha. If I try not to be awkward, I just seem to become more awkward.

I’ve been learning to embrace the awkwardness that is me. It makes me laugh, but not in a judgemental way. I no longer have a need to fixate on this part of me.

What I have realised is that there’s no point in hyperfocusing on what is wrong with me. What that does is make me feel like a dead duck. Why judge myself, or onboard the judgement of others, when I can embrace happiness and laughter instead?

For those who have spoken to me in person, they probably know that my verbal words also occasionally turn into a black hole of what the feck was that? I used to try and smooth things over, only to create more awkwardness.

These days I prefer to create laughter from my awkwardness with my weird Rachel humour.

I figure, perhaps if I create comfortability within my awkwardness, it might help others to lean into their awkwardness too. Because some of us are quite simply like that at times. It doesn’t make us any less of a person. It doesn’t mean we are unintelligent. It simply makes us human.

To give you an idea of what happened whilst snorkelling…

After much time wasted ‘trying’ to snorkel I almost gave up. I then realised the snorkel was around the wrong way. I was sucking up water, instead of breathing in air. Eventually I figured out what was wrong and fixed it.

To fast-track to the experience, I ended up walking to the end of the jetty and climbed in the water. I met all sorts of awkwardness as I climbed into the water. Honestly, I was a little scared, because I was climbing in where it was quite deep. I hadn’t spent enough time becoming confident before going deep.

I made it over to the floating device close by (pictured) only to meet more awkwardness. My legs would float upwards towards the middle and I couldn’t control them. It had me in fits of laughter.

And then when I swam to look at the coral and all the sea life I would smile or even laugh, which would create a gap… and cause for me to take a big gulp of water. Like wtf Rachel? LOL.

I managed to do that exact same thing pretty much the whole time I was snorkelling. It was kind of exhausting honestly. But also hilarious… making me crack up laughing even more.

I cannot help that I am such a happy person, to the point that every time I would see something cool, I would laugh and/or smile.

This morning as I meditated, I focused in on my smile. Whilst focusing on it, my smile became larger and larger. And it made me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside. Eventually I couldn’t help it… I started to laugh.

The meditation bought my thoughts back to my attempt at snorkelling; and prompted for me to share it with you today.

A smile can be amplified within our energetic body, simply because we focus in on it.

Imagine a world where everybody walked through life with a genuine happiness within their energetic body. That inner smile is contagious is it not? So is that inner frown.

If I judge my awkwardness, it creates an inner frown. If I judge ANYTHING about me, it creates an inner frown. So why in the hell would I want to constantly sit within the vibration of judgement; and amplify an emotion that doesn’t really need to be there?

I love to laugh. It is extremely healing for me personally.

Sometimes we need to reflect on how we’re showing up. Do we, as humans, judge ourselves and others for stupid little things that aren’t that important in the scheme of things?

Why not instead focus on creating a beautiful ball of energy within... and share it with others. I’ve personally realised that I have the power to shift my mood to something more positive. This morning when I woke, my energy was somewhat funky.

At about 9.30am I was sitting in this exact spot, struggling to concentrate. I decide to stop and complete the meditation that I missed earlier this morning. It bought me back to where I wanted to be.

To think. One simple thing had the power to shift my day.

And perhaps you’re awkward like me, or perhaps you’re not. If you are, do you see it as one of your downfalls, or do you see the beauty within it? I’m a bundle of awkwardness at times, but I love it.

Take a moment to appreciate the beautiful bundle of energy that you are. Warm fuzzy hugs from me to you. Be sure to observe any judgement you have of yourself… and try to shift this to self-love instead.

Self-love is such a beautiful place to be.

~ Rachel Reeves

This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.


This video and/or article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.

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