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Fear, Melancholy and Our Need to Belong

I have gone through a huge amount of fear and melancholy as part of my life journey.

I am a 3/5 Emotional Projector with the Emoting Channel (human design). I previously reached a place of bitterness. I’m unsure whether or not those around me noticed, pretty sure at least some did. This is the self-theme of a Projector who isn’t living their design. BUT I have been dealing with my own inner demons… doing the shadow work… and have been on an interesting self-journey.

For the moment my goal has become to figure out what makes me tick… what is my purpose… and how I might perhaps fit within a world in which I don’t seem to belong. Is it necessary to fit in? Or do we simply stand within our authenticity and those who are part of our tribe will resonate and join us on our journey?

I have been doing that self-work, so that I can continually gain clarity and push beyond the illusions. I carry this tendency to observe my own emotions; and this has often led to my shifting paths – as I embrace the lessons. Sometimes this has meant going through one lesson after another after another. Ouch. It is through going with the flow of who I am that I truly honour myself… as opposed to going with the flow of who others seem to want me to be. I have been rejected many times because of this tendency, but what I have since learned is that rejection has always been for my protection.

It’s good to see pessimism and fake optimism for what it is. I have noticed that many of us seem to use these things as tools to keep us safe. They shift us away from being our true and authentic self – and we start to wear a mask, with a view to protect ourselves. Masks are so often in place to push the pain down and hide it deep within. We continue to add to that pain, until such point as it becomes too much – and we realise there is no choice but to look at that pain.

We don’t want to hurt ourselves or others. But sometimes, through trying to protect, we become the people pleaser and perhaps the enabler. Could it be that through doing so, we are trying to control – and guide the underlying narrative in the direction of our choosing.

If you are a deep thinker, I provide you a couple of questions, that might have you thinking deeper about people pleasing and enabling. It is good to spend some time sitting with our thoughts in relation to this topic; so that we can better understand the underlying reason we do it:

  1. Is it, or isn’t it for the highest good of all? Does it maximise on the soul growth of ourselves and the other?

  2. In the longer-term is it supportive of our own happiness and fulfilment?

  3. Does it sometimes lead to manipulation and abuse within the relationship?

Through our attempt to avoid conflict and our attempt to be seen as perhaps the righteous person… it seems like some of us create a type of conflict and chaos within our very being. One that sometimes sacrifices our own needs, with a view to fulfil the needs of those around us. One that says we are not important and not okay.

Do we seek to become something that society seems to desire us to become, when we are perfectly perfect just as we are? Could it be that our beauty and purpose is within our authenticity?

We need to be mindful of not allowing our thoughts to rule our lives. It’s good to see beyond the illusions that are created through fear and control. Are we here to judge others and to be judged? Are we here to live a life where hierarchy places people in different boxes that are labelled? Society seems to say that this person is this… and that person is that. I suspect these things are not the reason we are here.

My thought is that we are here to figure ourselves out… to feel through the experience… and to find and embrace our inner unicorn. My belief is that this lifetime, we have chosen to reincarnate in this vessel, which we call our body. We chose the time and date that we would reincarnate. When we did so, we likely had the knowledge that the world would be the way that it is right now. So why did we choose to experience Earth School in this very moment. What is it, to truly live? What does it look like to maximise on our own soul growth? Who are we? What do we stand for? To spend some time pondering on these types of questions, leads us towards living and breathing our authenticity. When we start to embrace our inner unicorn, we raise our vibration – and it starts to shift us towards our purpose.

People have this tendency to want to avoid certain experiences and certain emotions...

We live in this world where many don't feel truly seen and heard. Every single one of us is a powerful mirror. When we interact with those around us, we reflect back what others need to see within themselves. Sometimes good things are reflected back to us. Other times the reflection offers what is necessary for us to grow… we are called to embrace these lessons. We have the choice.

I have had great difficulty in finding belonging in a world where emotions are so often hidden away in a box. Have you? I would love to hear your experiences with this.

In the video today, I share with you a snippet of what I have learned while on my journey. No script... just whatever wants to come to the surface today.

This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.


This video and article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.

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