Letting Go of People Pleasing Behaviours and Consciously Creating The Life We Desire
Updated: Jan 12, 2022
Without today, what will tomorrow bring? We need to be living with conscious awareness right now and so consciously creating today, to be able to create the tomorrow we so desire. We need to wake up to who exactly we are, and to who exactly we desire to be. Then recreate ourselves in that new image, instead of looking outside of ourselves to others to create our life for us.
We need to live in the illumination of our own lighthouse. Our life can either be our conscious creation, or it can be an unconscious creation that is created by what is go on around us.
We can adjust and change for those around us, in the hope we might make them happy, or we can look inwards at our own desires – and start to reach for what our heart truly desires. Which has a snowball effect as others see our light and start to wonder how they can find that light in themselves.
Others aren’t our ticket to happiness. We can only create true happiness within ourselves.
I’m sure you have heard it said, “You can’t please everyone.” Because you simply can’t. This being the case, why not give top priority to our own happiness first, instead of looking outside of ourselves to find it?
I used to think it was selfish to fill my cup full first but have since realised it is not a selfish action. It helps us to shine a much bright light in this world, because if our cup is empty, we have very little to give. If it is full, we have an abundance to draw from.
We must be wary of manipulation or control.
Our focus should be on balance within our relationships. We might think that controlling the situation provides stability, but this is only an illusion. Manipulation and control holds both parties back.
And might that person living in their ego become even more greedy and stubborn if they always get their way by doing a certain thing. Because it makes no sense to change if we always get our own way. If there is no change it holds both parties back.
If somebody shows us who they are, we need to see it for what it is, otherwise we get lost in the mirrors and the projections – and are moved further and further away from our authenticity and true purpose. And perhaps become disillusioned that we are somehow a terrible person or failure if we walk away, which is simply not the case.
Instead, we should consciously teach each other how we would like to be treated. Not in a controlling or manipulative way though. Quite the reverse. By looking at how various influences affect us in our lives. How they shape us. Is this in a positive or a negative way? Are we consciously aware of these influences? If we are not, might we be receiving certain messages subliminally. Perhaps we don’t even realise we are being influenced if it has always been this exact way throughout our life. Because sometimes we fall into unhelpful patterns as a means of survival, and we don’t even realise this has happened.
Might taking off those rose-coloured glasses and looking at what needs to be looked at, become the key to self-growth?
The question then becomes, how can we alchemise this? How can we heal? Do we need to remove ourselves to heal?
Some wise words someone once said to me “A wounded soldier does not heal on the battlefield – they must leave the battlefield to be able to properly heal.”
Do you need to leave the battlefield?
If you do, you are not a failure. You are human. And you are loving yourself and choosing to do what is right for you. Realise the power in this.
If you haven’t already, learn to alchemise who you are, into the beauty that you were always supposed to be. Learn self-love and learn to hold space for yourself.
Our beauty is within us. It is there. It has always been there. Draw it out of yourself today and start living life to its absolute fullest.
We are the creators of our own life. We are the students, but we are also the teachers. We are the alchemists. We become the follower if we choose to become the follower, or the leader if we choose to become the leader.
We hold ourselves back or allow ourselves to move forwards, through our action or non-action today. If there is something that you have always wanted to do, then consider pushing through that fear and moving towards your goal despite that fear.
We might be held back, if and when we allow it. Others might have power in our lives, if and when we allow it.
If you have given your power away, then take it back today and create that life you so desire. Don’t allow anyone to dim your light or steal your power. This is your life, just as another person’s life is their life to live. Don’t allow another to live your life for you.
It's time to reclaim your power, your light, your authenticity, your stability, and peace. It’s time to reclaim yourself and refocus on what’s important for you.
What is right for one, is not necessarily right for another. So be careful not to push your agenda onto anyone else.
If we all stay in our own lane then we can live a much more stable and happier life; as opposed to living a life where fear-based reactions, such as anger, frustration, power, influence, and control create our reality; and cause chaos in both our own lives and the lives of those around us.
Jealousy, envy, and the need to always win, and the need to always be right are helpful to no one. Sometimes the only way to resolve a situation is to remove ourselves from it so we can heal. This might be temporary, or it might need to be long-term – it all depends on the situation. On whether or not both parties are willing and able to do the work.
But it becomes very important that we actually heal. Without healing we will continue to be sent similar lessons. This is a universal law, but it also logically makes sense. For if we turn a blind eye to red flags, then we are accepting of the behaviours and we accept the unhealthy and toxic relationship. Whereas if we walk away when we notice these red flags, we are not only saying no to somebody treating us that way, but we are also making space for a healthier relationship to come through. Live, love, learn and grow.
Always be yourself. And always speak your truth. You are and were always enough.
This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.
This video and article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.