Updated: Jan 12
It is true that others may dislike it if we choose not to conform, and instead speak our truth. Does this mean we should stay quiet? Because staying quiet is safe. Consider this… we live a lie until such time as we speak our truth.
If another person doesn’t accept our truth, and we then conform, does this mean we are accepting their truth as our truth? Perhaps. It may depend how long we have been conforming, and for what reason we conform.
For me personally staying quiet and conforming was needed for a certain period in my life, but in the long run it wasn’t the way to go. Because of how I am built when I stay quiet and conform, I end up changing my colours to blend into the background much like a chameleon. I got extremely good at this, but in doing so I was sacrificing my identity. I have since realised that living my truth means not blending in like a chameleon.
It is important that we accept that not everyone’s truth is the same. We are all totally different people and are at different points when it comes to self-growth. None of this makes any one person better than another. But it is important to note that those we surround ourselves with can have great impact on who we are as a person. It is also important to understand that our upbringing can have a great impact on who we are as a person, and the ways that we move. It depends on your design as to exactly how much impact this might have had.
We always have a choice, and I choose today to surrounding myself with those choosing to move towards living authentically and in their truth! Because if you think you’ve already made it and have reached your destination, then you fail to realise that it is improbable that any of us will ever reach our destination in this lifetime – there is simply too much to learn. Once we reach what was our destination, that goal post is again moved, and a new lesson is there to be learned.
This is not to say we cannot have people around us who haven’t quite caught up, but it is also not our job to ensure that they keep up. Sure, we can spend a moment or two or three or four providing that bit of wisdom; but should we spend years? As Einstein puts it:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Yes, there may be a need to speak our truth and share that small bit of wisdom here and there, with a view to help another along their way. It is great to hold space for another if they need it. We should not remain in a relationship, however, that is to our own detriment. We are not here to be martyrs or slaves to another.
In my personal situation I have realised it is my job not to stay in that one place and be there for but a few. I am meant to keep it pushing and keep expanding myself out wider and wider. I can do so much more in this world if I aren’t limited by a perspective that I must stay where I have always been. To be limited is okay for some, but some of us are built to continually grow beyond our growth, to the point that others are left going, wait – where did she go?
We shouldn’t be expected to hold ourselves back so that those around us don’t feel left behind. A person who loves us unconditionally doesn’t want us to feel held back, not even for them – they want us to go far and achieve as much as we can achieve in this lifetime.
Think about it, if we share a piece of wisdom over and over, and nothing changes – then where are these words going? Are these words that we speak simply drifting out into the universe, then dissolving, perhaps with a few words returned by the other? And what creates the need for the person receiving these words to shut down and dissolve these little pieces of wisdom, which could have perhaps been helpful if only they listened? Could it be that maybe that person was happy where they were at? Or perhaps they were too afraid to allow those words to simmer, even for a moment, as it would mean they might just need to look at those wounds that they are holding deep within?
My observation has been that when a relationship is toxic, sometimes the words that we speak aren’t worth speaking, and simply dissolve into the universe without really seeping in. Or even worse, those words end up being twisted and used against us. Either way, the words that we speak start to feel like they have little to no value, when this is simply not the case – it is just a perception.
When we can see that the words that we speak are consistently making their way out into the universe, but making little to no difference, perhaps we need to consider whether it would be better to save our words and start to look at moving on. In doing so might we attract another, who will more fully appreciate us, and have a willingness to grow with us? Bringing the same thing up again and again serves to only cause frustration for both parties. Nobody but the person on the receiving end can determine when they will be ready to hear those words.
If we stay quiet out of fear that we might hurt another, or if we make it our mission to try and fix another, then we cease to live our most authentic life. It is super important to allow others the space to learn their lessons, and not try and force them to learn these lessons before they are ready. Because of this sometimes it ends up being for the highest good of all to wish a person the best, then release and move on.
As an example, at the point that we recognise that the person we are with has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) do we stay and try and make it work; or is it best to find a way to move on? If we are to look at the facts, it is very well documented that a person with NPD will probably not change. With just this one fact I know what my choice would be. It’s one of happiness, and peace. In other words, I would choose not to stay. This is called self-love.
It is important to realise that it is not our mission on this earth to either fix another, or make sure we are liked by everyone. In trying to do either of these things we will cease to live in our truth, and we will likely attract lessons from the universe designed to balance these aspects of ourselves out. Our purpose as I see it is to balance out our ego, drop those burdens that we carry, and heal those deep inner wounds. In doing these things we can start making future decisions from a more elevated position.
Speak and Live Authentically. Don't sacrifice your identity for the sake of fitting in. Live in your truth.
This content is created by Rachel Reeves, who has always been a deep thinker. She previously played the supporting role in the lives of those around her, and very much held back on sharing this gift fully with other's. This is Rachel stepping very much out of her comfort zone, into what she now knows to be her inner calling, and sharing her thoughts with the world.
This video and article is intended to support self-growth, but the information provided is to be taken as personal opinion only. Feel free to take what resonates, but use your own inner-wisdom and guidance when doing so -- you know yourself much better than anybody else ever will. The information provided is to be in no way regarded as Medical, Legal, or Financial Advice. Please seek professional advice where needed. Thank you.